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 Where Self-Love & Healing, is always fashionable and in style...



DeProgramming Pain

Posted on August 7, 2014 at 12:45 AM



Deprogramming Definition: to retrain, as for the purpose of eliminating or replacing a learned or acquired behavior pattern or habit that is undesirable or unsuitable.

Far too often, we endure the fetters of horrible relationship; and, attempt to find resolve with the other person. But after all attempts have been made, the relationship ends, and you’'re left with emotional anguish, baggage, and woes that you could possibly carry over into your next relationship….

Its so easy to become a reflection of your past, and eventually develop a form of, “Unofficial Post Traumatic Stress”, directly resulting from what you may have put up with in your former relationship…



You may have been, a consenting “SIDE PIECE”…. 

You may have endured years of emotional/physical abuse from a partner…

You may have caught your partner cheating in your home, and decided to forgive him or her and remain in the relationship; only for it to happen again…

You could have been in love, and thought it was good, only to have your partner disappear for months… only to return and blame you for his or her exit….

Or you may have dated a Pitiful Liar who lead you on, even to the end of your relationship…


The list goes on and on… But the important question, in each of these, and other scenarios is, “How do you heal from what happened to you?” REMEMBER: NEGATIVE thought patterns, CAN LEAD TO A PATTERN OF NEGATIVE ACTIONS….


Memories can haunt us, our pasts can affect ALL future choices… And, our thoughts can influence our emotions… Recognizing this truth, can be the first step towards HEALING… More importantly, carrying emotional baggage into new and existing situations is almost inevitable… But Changing your way of thinking, can influence positive emotions and guide you to FOREVER RESOLVE and HEALING…


WE ARE FRAGILE FLAMES… and individuals who can connect with their emotions, tend to stain easily. And to fix yourself, seems like a long road of recovery. However, how do you get there? CHANGE YOUR THINKING! But also be honest with yourself!!!


Learn to interpret what happened to you, in that former relationship AS A LESSON LEARNED… Though, sometimes you can see yourself as undeserving of what happened; however, the development of strength and wisdom is the ultimate Gift of Resolve!


FORGIVE YOURSELF, for enduring such a negative situation, and your desire to try and fix the problem, instead of walking away… Remember, ALL reason’s for holding on, made sense to you at the time, despite advice from friends and family. Embrace the fact that, you tried! Also, keep track of what creates the negative thoughts and feelings…


It’s ok to take a break from relationships for a while… Use that time to rid yourself of ALL that hurt you… Possibly keep a journal… Writing is a good way to release… Music, Art, Expression, Affirmations, Surround yourself with people who love you… And have someone that you can safely talk to about your feelings, and where you are with your healing… these things will only work if you let them.


Most importantly, you want to get to a place where you're not carrying bad things into your next relationship…. Trust me, its work to not be reminded of the past; but your reaction to it, is all that matters! Attempt to reverse Anger, Sadness and Frustration into, Happiness, Security, and Peace of Mind!



Realize, this is on going work! And if you have the will to change, You've already secured your position towards, Healing!!!



©2014, Joseph Dewan Williams



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